<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Holding On by Dawnagain</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714173">Holding On</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnagain/pseuds/Dawnagain'>Dawnagain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ryne and Gaia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:27:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,501</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23714173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnagain/pseuds/Dawnagain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryne is afraid of what she's starting to feel towards Gaia. Femslash. One shot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gaia/Ryne | Minfilia, Gairyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Ryne hummed while inhaling the sweet smell coming from her Sichuan bowl. After a long day of training, it felt good to finally get to relax. Gaia is not too far away from her. She is standing in front of a wooden booth, waiting for her order. Her arms are crossed, and her face is scrunched up, giving off the impression that a foul smell is in the air. A man walked out from behind a curtain, setting a bowl of food down onto the counter. He grinned broadly. “One shrimp bowl to go!”</p><p>Gaia looked down into the bowl wearing an unreadable expression. She slowly met his gaze. “What is this?”<br/>
The man leaned back confused, rubbing his head. “Uh, what you ordered miss.”<br/>
Gaia tilted her head, resting one hand on her hip. “Let me get this straight. I just paid you 80 gil for some slop?” The man stared at her in disbelief. His lips scrunched into a thin line. “You should try it first before throwing out insults child.”</p><p>“What the hell did you just call me!?”</p><p>Ryne sighed watching the exchange. She quickly ran over and grabbed Gaia’s food. She thanked the man for his service, between the two yelling insults at each other. Ryne finally managed to pull her away. She shot Gaia a disapproving look. “Really Gaia? Is it your goal to get us banned from every restaurant?”</p><p>The taller girl crossed her arm's leaning back. “As usual, I’m the bad guy.”</p><p>“I - I didn’t ...” Ryne hung her head slightly. She walked over to her, holding out the bowl. Gaia watched her disinterested. “He’s right you know. You didn’t even try it. It might be delicious.”</p><p>Gaia eyed the food before looking at her. “I’ve lost my appetite.”</p><p>Ryne wouldn’t push any further. She chewed the inside of her cheek and decided to save this bowl for later. She turned towards her own, eating in silence. It seemed to always be this way between them. Ryne quietly wondered why Gaia hangs out with her, if her presence bothers her so much. Between bites, she caught Gaia watching her. Ryne felt nervous for a moment under her gaze, but quickly understood. She happily scooped up a spoon full of her Sichuan and held it out to her. “Would you like to try some? It’s really good.”</p><p>Gaia’s face relaxed and she seemed taken aback. She leaned over and opened her mouth. Ryne giggled at the cute gesture. She watched Gaia’s lips as they closed around her spoon, slowly sipping away the juice that remains. Her eyes grew wide when Gaia’s tongue came out, licking away a bit of soup that dripped down the corner of her mouth. She snapped out of her trance when Gaia started coughing.</p><p>She coughed into her sleeve, shaking her head. “Damn that’s spicy, no wonder you’re all red.”</p><p>Ryne looked away, chewing the inside of her cheek. “Yeah...”</p><p>They finished the bowl together and Ryne slipped the spoon into her pocket. Gaia let out a groan, complaining about her feet hurting. Ryne commented that wouldn’t happen if she just wore more comfortable shoes. This only earned her a glare.<br/>
They walked together towards an inn they have been staying in for the past few days. Thancred usually preferred they stayed moving. Ryne didn’t mind. Sleeping under the stars, while listening to a stream is beyond relaxing to her. She tried to share this with Gaia, but she seemed hardly interested. Instead, she argued with Thancred until he caved. Well somewhat, if they wanted to stay in an inn, they had to come up with the gil on their own. To her surprise, Gaia agreed.</p><p>Ryne looked over to her and their eye’s met. She felt nervous all of a sudden and linked her hands behind her back. She turned around, walking backwards. “So, did you enjoy training today?”</p><p>Gaia arched a brow at her. “Is that a serious question?”</p><p>Ryne shrugged smiling. “I know you don’t like it, but you’re doing so well! You even have the warrior of darkness impressed.”</p><p>Gaia’s face scrunched up. “I couldn’t care less what any of them think of me. I’m only going along with this so we don’t have to sleep in the woods like animals.” Ryne nodded in understanding. A part of her didn’t believe that was entirely true, but there’s no since dwelling on it.</p><p>When they stepped inside, Gaia kicked off her heels and walked towards the bathroom. She let out a pleased sigh before slamming the door. Ryne walked over to the bed taking a seat. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of running water starting. Her thoughts wandered to what Gaia could possibly be doing in the shower, and all the different ways she would be washing her body. Ryne took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly.</p><p>“Stop being weird,” She whispered to herself.</p><p>For a few days now, her feelings for the other girl have been complicated. At first, she was convinced she just admired her no nonsense attitude. Now, she’s not so sure. She makes her feel odd, but not in a bad way. She thought back to them eating dinner together and smiled. Ryne reaches back into her pocket and pulls out the spoon they shared. She held it up, rotating it in her fingers. She bit her lip when she spotted small lipstick smudges.</p><p>Ryne paused and closed her eyes. She brought the cool metal of the spoon to her lips and hummed. The sound of the bathroom door opening caused her to jump startled, the spoon dropped to the floor. She quickly picked it up and threw it into a drawer.</p><p>“Mmm that was exactly what I needed.” Gaia said as she walked out, her hair and body wrapped in a towel. She sat down in front of a wooden vanity, her make up and lotions spread out all over the place. Ryne quickly grabbed a towel. She looked everywhere but at Gaia. As she walked by her into the bathroom, Gaia acknowledged her. “Don’t worry, I was nice and saved you some warm water.”</p><p>Ryne smiled bowing. “Why thank you.”</p><p>===</p><p>Ryne took her time washing up. They are going to be near the Crystarium for a few days, so she might as well enjoy all the lovely hot showers she can get. She thanked the maker quietly that she left her pajamas hanging near by. Gaia didn’t mind changing around her, but it made her so uncomfortable. Ryne rested her hand on the knob and took a deep breath. “Everything is fine,” she whispered to herself.<br/>
She walked over to the bed and laid out. Ryne hummed into the sheets, enjoying the feeling of such a soft big bed. She sat up and brought her knees to her chest. A peaceful silence is in the room. She can hear Gaia moving around and looked over to her curiously. She seems to be searching for something. Gaia’s face shifts through various emotions as she opens almost every drawer in the room. Her face lights up and she smiles, lifting an ebony brush into her hands.</p><p>Ryne watches her sit down and brush her long black hair. She feels a strange feeling pool into her lower stomach as her eyes scan over every detail of her pale face. They move down to her full light pink lips and she is unable to look away.<br/>
Gaia catches her gaze and blinks confused. “What?”<br/>
Ryne shakes her head, mentally slapping herself. She hugged her legs closer. “N -Nothing. It’s just. You look so different, without your make up.”</p><p>Gaia’s mouth slowly opened, her brows knitting together. Ryne panicked, quickly clearing her throat. “What I mean is, you look softer. Not so angry.”</p><p>She sighed relieved when Gaia’s face relaxed and she continued brushing her hair. There is an uncomfortable silence for some time. Ryne tries to think of something they can talk about. She looks around the room, and her eye's linger on the drawer where she is hiding the spoon. She stares at the drawer, chewing the inside of her cheek. “May I ask you a personal question?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>Ryne pouts. Gaia's eye's dart over to her, she sighs. “Fine, out with it.”</p><p>Ryne tilts her head to the side, searching for the right words. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” Gaia set down her brush. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms with a frown. “Why do you care?”</p><p>Ryne lowers her head, hiding part of her face into her knee's. “I'm just curious. I never have and I don't know if I ever will...”<br/>
Gaia let out a chuckle. She flicked a hand at her dismissively. “Oh please, you'll have plenty of time to kiss boys when this nonsense is over.”</p><p>Ryne's stomach sinks and she feels sad suddenly. Her mind is flooded with various conversations she's overheard during her travels with Thancred. He often assumes she isn't listening. “What if there isn't enough time? We oracle's don't live very long.”</p><p>Tension releases from Gaia's features, she blinks slowly at her. “Since when are you the negative one?” Ryne shrugs, unable to meet her gaze. Gaia turns, looking over herself in the mirror. She seems to be lost in thought for a few seconds, she exhales slowly. “Come here.”</p><p>Ryne looks up at her confused. Unsure if she heard correctly. Gaia is wearing a serious expression and waits patiently. Ryne slides out of bed and slowly walks over. Her heart beat is so loud that she can hear it in her ears. She links her hands together, unsure of what will happen next. Gaia leaves her chair, moving in front of her. Without the heels of her boots, they are about the same height. Gaia pointed at her. “Close your eyes.” Ryne obeyed. She squeezed her hands, trying to keep herself from shaking so much.</p><p>Her breath hitched in her throat when she felt Gaia's finger tips under her chin. Gaia rested her lips delicately on her top lip and then bottom. Gaia pulled back slightly, before moving back in and kissing her full on the lips. Ryne kept her eye's closed the entire time. Never in her life has she felt such a warmth spread out through her body. She wanted more. They continued to kiss for a few seconds. Gaia steadily moved away. Ryne leaned forward, trying to capture her lips again, but there was only air. She exhaled licking her lips before opening her eyes.</p><p>To her disappointment, Gaia is sitting back at the vanity. “Well there you go. Was it everything you dreamed of?”  She scoffed.</p><p>Ryne trembled hanging her head. Her stomach is twisting. She feels ill. What had she expected? That they would fall in love and live happily ever after? Such things only happen in fairy tales, or to those promised a normal life. A life she would never have. She understands this, but why does it hurt so much? Ryne jerked slightly, covering her mouth with her hand. She tries to hold on to good thoughts, think of happier times, but it isn't working. All she can think about is how she just made a fool of herself. Quickly, she rushed into the bathroom and slumped to the floor.</p><p>She buried her face into her hands and cried violently. Her tears only increasing when she hears Gaia's worried voice on the other side of the door. “Ryne? A – Are you okay?”</p><p>Ryne shook her head sniffling. She licked her lips, hating how she can still feel the warmth of Gaia's there. It's just too much, she can't face her. Standing, she lifted into the air, teleporting away. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryne decided to lay low for a few days in the Rak’Tika Greatwood with Master Matoya. She felt bad at first for intruding on her, but Y’shtola made it clear that it was no trouble at all. Outside of Gaia, she doesn't have anyone to have girl talk with, and she isn’t sure how to go about explaining her new feelings to the older woman.</p>
<p>It’s early in the day and they are sitting at a tree stump like table, enjoying cups of tea. Ryne looked over to Y'shtola wearing a mild frown. For the few days she’s been here, she’s noticed something is off about her. Her ears constantly twitched and her tail would jerk randomly. She locked eyes with her, and Y’shtola smiled warmly. She blushed looking away. It’s silly. Ryne knows Master Matoya is blind, but sometimes she wonders.</p>
<p>Y’shtola clears her throat, lifting her cup to her mouth. “So, am I ever going to be informed on why you’re hiding here?”</p>
<p>This conversation was bound to happen at some point. Ryne looked down nervously. “H - How about a trade? I tell you what ail’s me, if you share what’s ailing you.”</p>
<p>Ryne held back a giggle watching Y’shtola's ears flick quickly a few times. Her features remained neutral for a long moment. Y’shtola blinks slowly, letting out a sigh. “Very well, I’m waiting to hear from one of our healers. I’ve been ill.”</p>
<p>Ryne set her cup down roughly, she leaned forward before speaking again. “Is there anything I can do? Perhaps I can brew something?” Y’shtola shakes her head.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not. Don’t worry yourself. I’m confident in our healers.” Y'shtola waves a hand towards her to continue. Ryne chews the inside of her cheek. A deals a deal.</p>
<p>“Right. Well I - I like someone and I may have ruined our friendship.”</p>
<p>Y’shtola crossed her legs, leaning back in her chair. “ Hmm you fear she won’t feel the same?”</p>
<p>Ryne blushed covering her mouth with her hands. She shouldn’t expect anything less from Master Matoya. She stood then and began pacing around the room. “It’s not just that, but how people will look at me! There’s the coming battles, our future. It overwhelms me so that I - I can’t...”</p>
<p>Ryne hung her head trembling. Y’shtola slid from her seat and wrapped her arms around her. When she pulled back, she wiped away the tears that fell from Ryne’s eye’s. She lifted her chin. “My dear, you are young. You may have many loves that come and go, but know this. Almost all we desire is on the other side of fear. Never let fear cheat you from happiness.”</p>
<p>Ryne sniffled nodding her head. She thought back to all she has accomplished, what they have accomplished. None of it would have happened if she gave up and let fear consume her. She wiped her eyes smiling. “Thank you Master Matoya .”</p>
<p>“It’s what I’m here for," Y'shtola said.</p>
<p>A faint knock at the door startled both of them. A young Miqo'te walked in dressed in a similar black garb as Y’shtola. She seemed startled by Ryne’s presence. Y'shtola acknowledged the woman with a wave of her hand. “It’s quite alright. Ryne is a dear friend. You come bearing good news I hope?”</p>
<p>The woman clasped her hands together in front of her. “Yes! Forgive me for taking so long Master Matoya, but you can rest easy. You are not ill, but with child.”</p>
<p>Ryne’s eye’s grew wide. They shot over to Y’shtola, who looked less than excited. Her features relaxed and she rested a hand on her hip. “I see.” </p>
<p>The woman bowed to her. “If there is anything else you need, please do not hesitate to send for me.” She left shortly after that, the door clicking shut behind her.  </p>
<p>It is quiet for some time. Ryne shifted back and forth on her toes unsure of what to say.  She cleared her throat. “Urm congratulations?”</p>
<p>Y’shtola glanced over to her. A small smile spread over her face. “You mistake me. My lack of enthusiasm isn’t remorse. This is a pleasant surprise.”</p>
<p>An excited squeal erupted from Ryne and she wrapped her arms around her Shoulders. Her thoughts started racing about how their group will change with a little one around. There is also the curiosity of who the father is, but she wont press her on it.</p>
<p>Ryne stayed for a few more hours. Before leaving she promised Y'shtola her secret would be safe with her. She couldn’t help wondering how Thancred would react. Immediately, she felt awful. He must be so worried about her. She lifted into the air and teleported near the entrance of the crystarioum. </p>
<p>Squinting, she lifted her hand and shielded herself from the sun's strong rays. She would first Check the usual training grounds for him. Remorse started to set in. Thancred is like a father to her, and she just disappeared on him without a word. She jumped back startled when he jumped down from a tree in front of her.</p>
<p>Ryne lifted her hands defensively. Then looked down when his angry gaze met hers. “Have you any idea how worried I’ve been? If Y'shtola hadn't -”</p>
<p>“I know you’re upset,” Ryne interrupted. “But I just needed some space. I won’t just disappear like that again. I’m sorry!”</p>
<p>Thancred's scowl slowly faded. He crossed his arms letting out sigh. “Very well. No since dwelling on it. Now that you’re here you can help me locate Gaia.”</p>
<p>“What?” Ryne said confused.</p>
<p>Thancred nodded. “She disappeared around the time you did. I’ve no luck finding her. I assumed you were together. “</p>
<p> Ryne looked off into the distance. She couldn’t believe what she just heard. Why would Gaia run away? She was the one that ruined everything. Ryne bit her lip thinking over where she could possibly be. It was unlikely, but she had an idea. “I think I know where she is.”</p><hr/>
<p>Gaia does not like the out doors. At least, that's how she made it appear. Ryne checked two locations, before finally finding her sitting at a stream. It is the same stream Ryne had suggested they camp at one night after training. Gaia had complained the whole time about how filthy and loud it would be. Now, She is wearing an unreadable expression. Her eyes glued to the water. </p>
<p>Ryne approached her slowly, her heart rate picking up. She felt mildly light headed, a part of her wanted to just turn and run away. Master Matoya's words rang through her mind, giving her the strength she needed. Gaia tilted her head slightly in her direction. </p>
<p>“You're right. This is pleasant.”</p>
<p>Ryne felt the tension in her body relax at her tone. She sat next to her, making sure to leave a safe distance between them. There is a peaceful silence for some time. Ryne pondered how she was able to avoid their caretaker for so long.  “Poor Thancred. Didn't think to look right under his nose.”</p>
<p>Gaia let out a quiet chuckle shrugging. “If I'm to be honest. I had him frozen for a while. The spell must have recently worn off.”</p>
<p>Ryne shook her head in disbelief. None of them had a full understanding of Gaia's abilities yet, but she continues to amaze her. They locked eye's, Ryne instantly looked down at her lips. She turned away feeling extremely embarrassed. She didn't want to feel this warmth settling in the pit of her stomach. This is going to be harder then she thought. Gaia's voice reached her ears. “It wasn't bad you know, the kiss.”</p>
<p>Ryne sharply inhaled. A bit of joy filled her heart, but she didn't let it stay for long. Something about this just didn't feel right. She watched the stream before continuing. “Gaia, I don't want you to feel forced to say that. I'll still be here for you, even if you don't feel the same.”</p>
<p>Gaia nodded, her eyes downcast. “I'm sorry Ryne.”</p>
<p>Ryne hunched over slightly, trying her best to not let her emotions overwhelm her. Gaia continued. “I'm just not use to this. Dealing with people, but you're important to me.”</p>
<p>Ryne let out a breath she was holding. She turned towards her, meeting her gaze. She isn't really sure what she see's there, but the last thing she wants is to take advantage of her dear friend. “I don't want you to be pressured, so lets just keep being friends?”</p>
<p>Gaia slowly smiles. She reaches over, scooping Ryne's hand into her own. Delicately, she kisses the back of her hand. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Ryne gawks at her, a goofy grin on her face. </p>
<p>“Hey!”</p>
<p>They both look over startled at a disgruntled Thancred. “Don't think for a second you two are getting out of training!”</p>
<p> Gaia groans. She stands stretching out her back. “Well, Fun's over. Lets get on with it then.”</p>
<p>Ryne stays there, running her fingers over where Gaia's cool lips have just been. What does this mean? Perhaps there is hope? She thinks back to the conversation she had with Master Matoya and smiles to herself. She is still young. Only time will tell what this will blossom into. For now, she will hold on to these precious memories for as long as she can.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is dedicated to Homura and PersonaSpace. You two motivated me to finish this! I originally  wanted this to be a one shot, but a few ideas came to me. I don't plan to return to this pairing for a long time.</p>
<p>I've had this idea for a while, where one of the scions have a child that gets left behind when they cross back over. Critique is always welcome. Thank you for reading :)</p>
<p>Can you guess who's Y'shtola's baby daddy? :D</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I own nothing!! I do not own that beautiful artwork either. The credit goes to Sinrid on twitter who creates many beautiful commissions. I've been playing ff14 since ARR first released. I may have some details off because I skipped through some of the text in game.</p><p>I'd love to hear what you guys think :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>